Gmail I just received

Crazy ass Africans!!!! I think everyone who reads this blog should enter this person's name into every spam engine on the internet. I love these emails and can't believe that people actually fall for them. This one does something I've never seen before, by trying to prey on Christians and mentioning God and Church alot. Good thing for me, I've not been to church in a long time and don't pray that often, and I'm not falling for it. I'll break down this email line by line.


On 6/20/08, Rebecca Williams wrote:

From Mrs Rebecca Williams
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire


ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Benson Williams, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. (aww poor fellow. It's a shame the fucker didn't die in two days)

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account. (what the hell is a suspense account?. I'm also glad that she decideed not to remarry or get a child because the bible is against it. It's been a while since I've been to church, but last time I checked God doesn't like folks who try to take money from stupid Americans no matter how much fun it is. 2.5 million whoa-How in the fuck did someone who works for an embassy make that much money. Sign me the fuck up if I can make that kind of money )

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained. (Ok so how are we gonna get the money if it's in a "suspended" account. What church gets it, the first Church of Scammers?. Crabs and Diarrhea are a problem, cancer is a sickness)

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don抰 have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don抰 want my husband抯 efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don抰 want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
(Here with go with the bible verses. She doesn't want the money to be used by "unbelievers" That's rich. She doesn't want the money used in an ungodly way. What a fucking saint. Let's get in touch with Pope Benedict and get this lady sainthood right now)

I don抰 need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband抯 relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
(Who wants to bet that the contact of the bank is the idiot standing next to her just waiting for you to reply?. Lady I'll save my prayers for people who truly need it, like Kidd Chris who needs a new radio show, or Artie Lange that he'll lose some weight, or Scott Burress that he'll stop being an achievement whore. He's got a baby on the way for God's Sake hehe. This lady's happiness consists of bilking stupid Americans and now Stupid Christians out of their money. )

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information抯, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your
reply. (Aww, you mean if I don't reply, you'll just scam someone else. Well count me in)

Remain blessed in the Lord. (Umm go fuck yourself bitch. I'll be blessed by keeping my money)

Here was my reply

"Dear Nigerian Scammer"

Go Fuck Yourself and Burn in Hell forever

-Love Dave